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| because of you day by day, this seems soo unreal, my love I have inside, grows more than anyone could feel, you've changed my world and seen me grow, now all around, my world is whole, I gaze into your gorgeous eyes, and tear up knowing, we will vow together, until we die, because of you, I found my way, for fear of my own contraditions, I always fell astray, but my love for you has changed my mind, making me want to be a stronger women, not wanting to hide, your an amazing individual, and strong than you know, beautiful in my eyes, and my breath taking hero, because of you, this world became heaven itself, walking around with pride in my heart, with you by my side and no one else, this is how its suppose to be, I will cherish you always and forever, to the end of eternity. I love you always matt dotson.january 28th, 2007 | | |
| You're in one of those seasons
Everything seems to go so wrong
Wish I could give you a reason
But even I'm barely holding on When it's hard to find the answers
Let this be your hope Chorus: God only knows all your broken pieces
Only He knows what you're going through
God only knows what you hide inside
And He's holding onto you
God only knows You've had your fill of questions
There's so much that you need to know
I don't blame you for asking
But it's time to let go of control And I'm sorry for what you're feeling
Please hold on to this hope Come on, come on, He knows your pain
Come on, come on, hold onto faith
Come on, come on, you're on your way
My friend, your struggle has an ending day Only He knows
Only He knows
Only He knows | | |
| hey babe, i love you, you have taught me so much about myself and i want to thank you, you make me strive to be a better person, you have struggled so much in your little life and deserve more than this life has to offer, i can be the love you long and when your lost i will be the one to lead you home, i can be your shelter when it starts to rain in your life, and in the dark i'll be your light keeping you safe through out the night. you are so gorgeous babe and i have seen such a transition in you through out the past seven months, you have completely exceeded my expectations and you are an awesome girlfriend and women in todays society. you make me so proud, and i thank God every single day for you, i know i make mistakes sometime but who doesn't, the difference is that your still there and continuously pointing me in the right direction, thank you so much for getting my life back together and managable again. I love you angela renae.....:0) Now its time for that well deserved vacation.... dushi | | |
| that's a wrap!! sometimes life sucks so back you could die and not be affected. I found that out today. really really bad. day but ya know. I am trying to change my life around and it just seems that it isn't worth sitting around worrying about things that have already happened and money problems and things like that. us as humans always have to try some kind of numbing medications to forget what we have been through, what we are goin through, what our family and friends have gone through.. lil stresses leading to drugs depressions, pills caffine, over doing or obsessing over things, alcohol, eating disorders. they are all something to help you cope................... soo how do you cope in a healthy way. in a relationship?? with family?? with friends??
a few weeks ago I decided to try what I have failed and relapsed over and over again........ I have gone though soo many things and soo many way to try to forget or numb the hurt that lies inside of me... from eating disorders to drugs to boyfriene ds to trying to find that love and support we all need and try to find. as many times to find this all I need is one thing. all I need is that one thing I run from and hide from just to not show the light.. why do I push God soo far away when I know he is the answer to all of these problems.. to turn to him when I have stressed and I dont know how to cope....
it has been 4 weeks to the date I have not picked up a drink nor smoked a cigarette.. it has been 6 months and 14 days of sobriety from cocaine.... each and over mechanizem I have falling into the hide the pain I dont need. I dont need alcohol I dont need drugs I dont need cigarettes or anything but God. why do we all fall so far away when we feel soo embarrassed.
I need you lord. I am struggling soo bad. I need a way to cope with life with friends with my love with drugs, with alcohol. I am soo far away from being where you need me to be and where you need me to be for matt. I really do believe I am purely inlove with him. it isnt infatuation nor just attracting but someone who makes me believe I can be a better person. he has made me feel like I have a reason in life. but I can't do it alone lord. I need you holding my hand step by step. and when I fall help me right back up. im scared and afraid I will not succeed in life nor will I get out of this debt I found myself fall into or with this eating disorder I want to fight soo hard but that seems to be the only thing I have that I am afraid to let go. teach me how to be a good daughter and friend in christ. I dont tknow what to do .. im lost and scared and hopeless.. dont let me fall.. dont let me get that knife or those drugs. the temptation is there. teach me how to be strong to follow your foot steps. amen
im tired and depressed and very strong believer that i have no idea what road to take.. maybe the word control comes into order. I am terrified of not having control and I deffinately dont have it right now.
i love you all be strong and livestrong.just like my bracelet has to remind me every time i go through a rough time in life. i have to remember it can always get worse.....
god bless angie renae parham | | |
| today has been good. I woke up today went to work and me and some friends went to the pool and hung out then went grocery shopping and cleaned the house now relaxation and some more cleaning. and yay I get to see matt tomorrow at200 I can't wait I miss my baby sooooo much. talk to you guys later. luv angie | | |
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